The Worst Apple Crisp in the World

I can't figure out exactly why this is so stomach-turning. Maybe it's because I melted the butter in the microwave after reheating leftover salmon. Or maybe it's simply because once again, I had a bad idea and did a Google search to help me carry it out. In this case, I had a small portion of homemade applesauce (it was decent, if rather too lemony; I don't think it needed so much lemon juice). I was craving apple crisp, and wondered if I might not use the applesauce in the pursuit of this craving. One obvious problem is that I did not have much applesauce.

I came across a reprehensible recipe for a "quick" applesauce crisp using Bisquick, but I had none of that substance in the apartment (and probably hadn't since birth). I then found a traditional Betty Crocker recipe that used sliced apples. Since I had barely any applesauce, I halved the ingredients for the topping. After melting the butter, I had a thick dough with the texture of cement. Half-heartedly, I applied this "topping" to the scant applesauce mixture.

Not only does this "crisp" have an unappetizing look and flavor, it just tastes like... well, salmon in a lemon-butter sauce with a soggy crust and a touch of cinnamon. Someone needs to put my kitchen out of its misery.

Reflecting Pool as Dessert

I hope you had a good hair day today, because you can see your reflection in tonight's Dessert Whoops. It was supposed to be a blueberry crumble. It is, instead, a blueberry juice crumble. I don't know exactly what happened, as I followed the recipe. I added the cornstarch that was supposed to make this blueberry juice into blueberry goo. Did I not mix it in well enough?

"It's um, a little loose," was the charitable feedback from the unfortunate guest to whom I served this unjust dessert. Maybe I can make blueberry wine out of the leftovers?